Apparently, the phrase “24 to 72 hours” stuck in my mind as the time it would take to have a book up on Amazon via Kindle Direct Press (KDF).  I hadn’t focused on the first three words “when the book is done.” Done turns out to happen after all the columns have been located, after someone else has proofread it and someone else has designed a cover and formatted the interior in book-like fashion.

This is not to say that DIY efforts are out the window – only that I’ve never found a typo or grammatical error of my own that I could catch (and there may still be some – sorry) and that I have absolutely no graphic arts talents. For these tasks, a friend suggested Reedsy and Fiverr, budget-friendly online marketplaces of eager freelancers around the world.

After keeping them all straight on a chart, I found a proofreader in NYC, a cover designer in Austria, and a formatter in South Africa.  It is now an international project! Happily Austria and South Africa are in the same time zone. Happily, KDP has a phone and chatroom, and these freelancers are very patient. On the verge of being ready – I think – to start the 24 to 72 hour clock, I keep remembering my tech-y friend who said, “It’s not brain surgery. Everyone is doing it.”

Too bad. I was planning to feel absolutely brilliant at the moment of publication.

Brainchild of retired Target CEO Robert Ulrich, MIM is the world’s only global musical instrument museum. It displays about 6,500 musical instruments from 200 countries at any one time. Visitors are allowed to play some of them.  Others are on display through a walk-through arrangement, continent to continent, where visitors can see and hear and read about each country’s culture and music.

What a joy to experience this common denominator where there are no language or political barriers. Four hours at MIM reminded me that when life feels out of balance, we can still count on music. 2017 may be a good time to bring more music into our everyday lives.

“We’ll be up here, and you’ll be out there,” announced his six-year-old sister , who as usual was in charge.

With that and a little Miley Cyrus rock, the two jumped on and off the wooden “stage,” rolled in the grass and literally kicked up their heels. Afterwards, they treated the grandparent audience to souvenirs – seashells they’d collected at the beach.

They didn’t doubt for one minute that theirs was the greatest show on earth. And of course, the adoring audience agreed.

I couldn’t help but think how creative the world would be if more of us threw our inhibitions aside and played like little kids. Maybe the best way to celebrate birthdays is to remember not to get old.

Most Friday afternoons, I set aside time to hang out with one of my grandchildren, who are 6 and 2. Taylor, the six year old likes choices, so the other day I suggested either the new Disney movie Zootopia or the butterflies at our local conservatory.

To my surprise, she turned them both down in favor of the zoo. Why?

“I need to get my ya-ya’s out,” she said.

Ya-ya’s?

Apparently I wasn’t paying attention – and she certainly wasn’t around – when the Rolling Stones made the album “Gettin’ Yer Ya-Ya’s Out.” But the Urban Dictionary translated.

It means: To escape the life dramas that wear on your soul. To be fearless and get through the BS life gives you. Experience moments of clarity, beauty, inspiration and hope that everything will be alright.

So off to the zoo we went, first climbing all over the slides and igloos near the polar bears, then climbing up a lookout to find the prairie dogs, visiting a moose and finally whooping and hollering all the way to the zoo train ride, till there were no more ya-ya’s left.

I highly recommend it.

But wouldn’t it get awfully cold and hard sitting in the refrigerator?

On the other hand, Sara Lee seems to get away with that.

So immediately I ran off to Google the problem. Cream cheese frosting refrigerate?

And immediately, I had the answer. Yes. But take it out an hour or two before serving.

It occurs to me that Google has replaced not only common sense but also those spur-of-the-moment calls to cousins and those home ec queens among friends, who a decade or so I ago I’d have relied on.

The answer might not have come as efficiently. My info source might have had to consult a cookbook or another friend. But in the process, I’d have found out that they had just had a fender bender or the flu or picked up a juicy piece of news.

I like these instant answers, but there’s something lost in all this efficiency – unless, of course, the info source is also on Facebook. In which case, I suppose I would not have missed a beat.

I have never been a fashionista. So when my granddaughter Taylor, 5, told me that Fancy Nancy was her favorite book series, I had to know more.

“I like her because, you know, she’s Fancy,” said Taylor. She wears lots of things.” And indeed she does. In her books she flaunts baubles and boas and bows – all things Taylor loves to dress up in herself.

We had the full Fancy Nancy immersion experience Sunday when Taylor and I attended “Fancy Nancy The Musical,” which played to a packed audience of fancy little girls and their moms or grandmas at our local children’s theater.

So why is all this fanciness so popular? According to Jane O’Connor, who has now authored 56 Fancy Nancy books, dressing up does for girls what a Superman cape does for boys: makes them feel powerful.

Maybe I should try it.

Up popped the “Rainy Day Pick-Up Procedures,” issued by the Mirman School in Los Angeles.

Mirman’s rules are for parents picking up kids in a downpour, but we all need Rainy Day Pick-Up Procedures.  Here are mine, inspired by theirs.

Check the Rainy Day Hotline to make sure this has been declared a Rainy Day. If the weather is still threatening by late morning, call a friend. Start a game of “Ain’t It Awful.” If she thinks things will look up, calm down and carry on.

Rainy Day Pick-up Is Called By 2 p.m. If it’s still not better by 2 p.m., invoke Rainy Day Procedures. Eat at least one ounce of dark chocolate.  This can be followed on weekends by a nap or mindless TV watching. During workdays, take a couple extra walks around the office and stretch.

In case of sudden downpours just before 3 p.m., we will call Rainy Day Pickup despite its absence from the Rainy Day Pickup Hotline. Sudden spring showers qualify for chocolate and more. Have another ounce and supplement on weekends with a pint of Haagen Dazs. At work, check your PTO to see if you can rush home and follow weekend procedures.

Stay in your car and have your child brought to you, or park and  get your child. If you don’t have any Haagen Dazs in your freezer, you can get some at a drive-thru or park your car in the Kroger lot and run in. Either way, stock up. You will be doing this again.

Clarabelle Applegate, who promised to “Shazzam you into glam,” promised never to let her owner pass up a party. Winnie Burchfield promised to whip up love potions, and B.Q. O’Rourke, who loves to travel, promised never to let you fly solo.

Their offerings made me wonder:  If I could employ a fairy godmother this holiday season, what magical qualities would I be looking for?

I think I’d like a fairy godmother named Mabel Muse.

“Stuck on ideas for holiday hostess gifts?” she would say. “Never again tote a boring bottle of wine. Let me be your inspiration. Let me be your holiday sleuth. I will let you know the heart’s desire of each person on your list. Place me on your laptop for clever online shopping bargains and never-fail recipes with less than four ingredients.”

Yep. I would definitely hire Mabel Muse about now. What magic do you need from YOUR fairy godmother?

This time it was a steel, paint and plastic creation called “Toy,” hanging in the contemporary gallery at the Art Institute of Chicago. It was made of compressed automotive parts and unmistakably – a bright yellow Slip ‘n Slide.

It brought back memories. How many times had my boys and legions of their friends slid down this very contraption till the front yard was mush?

No surprise that it mysteriously disappeared during a garage-purge.

Now, though, as I face another cleaning spree, “Toy” may do me in. If the Slip ‘n Slide can make it into the Art Institute, how can I possibly throw away those extra clay pots? That old wooden tennis racket? The balls that have lost their bounce?

Garage-cleaning has become a slippery slope.